What’s wrong with living in our comfort zone?

Every Betwixtmas (that quiet few days between Christmas and New Year) for the past 14 years I have decided on three words for the year as a gentler alternative to setting goals or resolutions.  This year one of my three words was comfortable, and I shared on Instagram that having previously had words like stretch, grow and amplify as my guiding words, this was a change in approach for me.  I pondered why being in your comfort zone was seen as a bad thing for business or personal growth.  This led to an interesting chat with a friend who agreed that she was always much more productive in her comfort zone as a focus on targets and getting out of her comfort zone made her really stressed.

Since my daughter died I have been very aware that I no longer have the capacity that I used to have for working under pressure, and that my window of tolerance is far smaller than it used to be.  (Newer subscribers might want to go back and read my post of the 22^nd April on understanding our nervous system for more information on the window of tolerance.) 

In this post I wrote that one of the challenges was knowing how far we can push ourselves before it triggers our nervous system into fight, flight or freeze.  While for me it is grief that has changed my copability, there are so many other life events that can have this affect.  That’s why I now get really annoyed when I see life or business coaches and speakers whose approach focusses on making people feel that the only way to be successful is to push ourselves beyond our limits.  A quick google search for comfort zone quotes led me to the following.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there

There’s no growth in a comfort zone, there’s no comfort in a growth zone

Comfort is the enemy of achievement

Step outside your comfort zone because that’s the only way you’re going to grow

All progress takes place outside the comfort zone

Choose courage over comfort

I’m not proposing that we never do anything to learn or progress, but I fundamentally disagree with anyone who suggests that the only way to do this is by leaving our comfort zone.  It ignores all those for whom, for any number of traumatic or mental health reasons, being uncomfortable will neurobiologically trigger a stress response.  For us, it simply makes no sense to leave our comfort zone expecting that we will grow and achieve more, when doing so sends signals to our nervous system that we are under threat, which shuts down any capacity to learn. 

So I’m going to stay in my comfort zone, learning and growing still, but in a way that helps me feel safe.