Signs and Synchronicities

I finished last week with the coincidences of a day for writers being on my daughter’s birthday and the writing retreat a friend has arranged being in Brighton two years after I was there with Bethany.

This week I want to explore signs and synchronicities a bit more.  I realise that those of you as rational and logical as my daughter might find this far too woo woo, so I won’t be offended if you choose not to read on, or think what I’m choosing to pay attention to is a load of baloney!

What we each believe about religion, spirituality, heaven, and what happens when we die is such a personal thing, and I suppose I’m at the stage of grief where I don’t want to analyse why I believe what I do too closely, because it’s more important at the moment that I find comfort and a continued connection with Bethany in any way I can.

In Signs, the secret language of the universe, Laura Lynne Jackson writes that;   

Our loved ones on the Other Side send us signs designed to make us think of them. They do so to remind us that they are still connected to us in very real and powerful ways. The love that bound us here on earth continues to connect us after they’ve crossed. The interests we shared, the joys we had in common, the memories that make us laugh—these are all part of the ongoing and everlasting connection between us and the Other Side. …..So if you see something or feel or hear something that reminds you of a loved one who has crossed, and makes you think of how much they mean to you, be ready to accept it as a friendly hello, a gentle reminder, a cosmic wink—an especially beautiful sign from the Other Side. And then say thank you to them in your mind, as a way to acknowledge to them that you received their message, and also to honor it.

Tom Zuba in Permission to Mourn writes;

You ask for signs. You pray. You plead. You beg. “Give me a sign that you are still here.” And you hear that favorite song on the radio at the perfect time in the perfect place. And then you hear it again and you wonder could it be? And you notice the butterfly appearing when you need to see it most. As if it knows the cry of your heart. And you wonder could it be? And the bird taps at your window. And comes back again and again helping you feel a connection. And again you wonder could it be? And you see their name on a billboard and on a license plate and in the newspaper. And you see them in a dream. You can feel them. Hear them. Hold them. And you wonder could it be? And I say to you over and over and over again yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is your beloved talking to you. He is telling you he is okay. She is telling you that she is still here.

I nearly always remember my dreams and often used to share them with the children over breakfast.  In recent years, Bethany would often find it highly amusing to find a dream interpretation website and tell me what my dreams were supposed to symbolise.  After her death, I was desperately hoping she would visit me in my dreams.  She kept me waiting for six weeks, although I’m not blaming her as I don’t think I slept well enough to dream in those early days of grief.  Since that first dream I have been grateful that I’ve dreamt about her around once a month. Each time I feel grateful for her visit.  I like to think that however rational and logical she was, she knows that if she wants to get my attention or send me a message, visiting me in my dreams will be far more effective than trying to get my attention during my busy days.  As Laura Lynne Jackson writes;   

The cacophony of our busy lives overwhelms us and makes it quite difficult for a message to break through. It’s like being stuck on a radio frequency that produces nothing but static. We are often hopelessly locked in the brain’s frontal lobe, the control panel that handles our language and math skills and our analytical thinking—in short, all our cognitive skills. Except, that is, when we’re sleeping. When we sleep, our brains go offline. We drift away from consciousness. The noise and the static quiet. ….We all have a deep soul connection to the Other Side, our true home. But our souls need to have this connection recharged and repowered. Sleep is when this happens. Sleep is an altered state of consciousness during which our brains aren’t bombarded by stimuli and our bodies are able to restore and replenish all our vital systems. But sleep is also when we sync up with the Other Side. It’s when we have vibrant dreams full of symbolism and meaning—dreams that, as we’ve discussed, can carry signs from the Other Side.

Here's a poem I wrote about why I like to think Bethany is now a ghost